"Life Decisions?!"

So as you may know, I am fifteen years old. I've not even been alive two decades and I feel like every single day I have to make another decision that will affect, my future, my family, friends or career even. Take GCSE's for example- so many decisions that will affect my whole life potentially! If you aren't from the UK and you don't know what GCSE's are (count yourself lucky), they are exams that you do around the age of fifteen/sixteen. Now if you don't get a certain number of GCSE's at a certain standard, you can't go to college or sixth form to do A Levels (age 16-18) and therefore you cannot go to university (18+)... blah blah blah. But here's the thing; if I don't pick the "right choices" for GCSE and A Level, I won't be able to do the course I want to at university and therefore it becomes so much harder (and in some cases impossible) to get into whatever profession it is that I want to be in. In my opinion this is RIDICULOUS. At the age of fifteen to eighteen everything is changing, I know for me in the past school year alone my life has felt like a roller coaster at times as well as a growing sense of teenage angst, so to me it seems like the stupidest thing that we have to make decisions that are going to affect our whole lives, right?

So I've decided to stop worrying. Don't mistake me not worrying for not caring however because decisions I make now will (whether I like it or not) affect my whole life. But I am determined to stop forward planning and just take life as it comes. Live each day as it comes and not worry about tomorrow or yesterday.

I hope you're all well and I apologise for not writing for a while!

“No matter how much you stress or obsess about the past or future, you can't change either one. In the present is where your power lies.” 

"Humans"

Despite being one myself, girls really confuse me. Well probably not just girls.. Maybe if I say that people in general confuse me it'd be more accurate. It's like, people bitch but don't want to be bitched about. They lie, but don't want to be lied to. They cheat, but don't want to be cheated on. So on and so forth. It's ridiculous! And of course, I'm no exception to this rule. I bitch about people probably on a daily basis, which is awful, but I get offended, hurt or even upset if I find out that people have bitched or are bitching about me. So why do I do it to other people? To me it doesn't seem fair. Also, why can't everyone just be equal?! I think it is ridiculous that people judge other people on their skin tones or the way they live or the way they dress, if you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you! (Hopefully.)
Another thing that confuses me about humans is, why can we not just come out and say what we really mean or how we really feel? If a boy likes a girl for example, why can he not just tell her?! (equally vice versa) Or if we don't like a person, why can we not just tell them that? Not in a nasty or offensive way.. Just in a matter-of-fact sort of way. I think that would cut out a lot of confusion. Like I mentioned in my first post, if you're not happy in a relationship say so and get out of it... I blatantly understand it's not that easy but I make my own brain hurt just trying to think about why the human race has to make everything so god damned complicated! Believe me, I could write forever about this but I'll keep it short and sweet.

“There is no shortage of fault to be found amid our stars” - John Green, The Fault In Our Stars

I apologise that my posts are perhaps a little on the short side but I can say all that I need to say in that space and also people seem to be enjoying my posts, thank you everyone for positive feedback!

"Shut Yo' Mouth"

I really think that I have a genuine problem. I just cannot keep my mouth shut... I seem to spend my life talking myself into situations, back chatting teachers or gossiping! Anyone else have this issue? Today for example my mouth ran away with me. I told a friend of mine that this guy who always tries to talk to her (who also happens to be a good friend of mine) had said that they were "besties". This guy used to really fancy my friend so she told her boyfriend. Her boyfriend messaged this guy and now he's angry at me! Oh joy.. If I had just kept my mouth shut right?
It's not as if I don't understand that gossiping is wrong! I know exactly how bad it is and yet I just have this uncontrollable urge to bitch about anyone and everyone (I'm just going to tactfully blame it on being a teenager). I wonder why there's so much bitchiness in our schools today... It probably has always been there but never as badly. With the surge over my lifetime of social media and technology, it's all too easy to find out the latest goings on with the click of a finger! Everyone seems to have iMessage.. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr...
So when does it stop? People are forever complaining about society, what they seem to forget is that we are society and to change the world we first have to look at changing ourselves. I would love to say I will be less bitchy this year, but I know some goals just aren't realistic. So what I'll say instead is that I'll start trying to be a nicer person and stop talking myself into holes.


“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” 
― Eleanor Roosevelt

"It's Just a Game"

Hope you're all having a good week! I've received some lovely comments about my blog, so thank you! I'm up to nearly 300 views across two posts which is slightly mental!

 I know that this next "pet peeve" probably won't actually annoy a lot of you, but it always has annoyed me and it became ever clearer following my double games lesson this afternoon.
So we were doing games (PE.. Gym.. Whatever you want to call it) and in the double lesson were our competitive house matches. Basically at my school there are four houses (Langness, Carrick, Bradda and Scarlett) and we each house plays a game of in this case netball against each of the other houses.
Today's rant is actually about people who take playing these little school games far too serious! We all have that one person in our year who is set on the fact that their team has just got to win. They're overly determined, over confident and always the most annoying thing on two legs at that time. The constant clapping and congratulating (not forgetting self congratulation of course) really gets on my nerves. When I'm cold, soaked from the rain and overly tired the last thing I want is some preppy little shit yelling "come on girls" and prancing around like they're one of the PE staff. Don't get me wrong, these people are absolutely fine in any other lesson and I don't dislike them at all but trust me when I say, I was close to throwing the bloody netball at one or two of them today.


“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” -Aristotle 

"The Unfortunate Reality"

When I was little (okay and still to this day) I really loved Disney films. They were magical stories about Princesses and Princes and they always had a fairytale ending. Then as I grew slightly older I was exposed to the magic that was Disney Channel and therefore films such as High School Musical which made high school seem big, exciting and really friendly. Disney taught me that being myself would always going to win me friends and if I stuck with what I believed in, it would all work out in the end  (also that random singing was always perfectly acceptable). However going from primary school to secondary school (high school) was nothing like Disney made it seem. Maybe it was simply childhood innocence but I cannot be the only one who thinks that this was an unrealistic view of genuine teenage life. The characters were always so full of energy and although everyone knows that Sharpay was a bitch, it all worked out in the end. The sad reality is that schools in the twenty first century aren't like that at all. Walking around school you pass so many people who are all dealing with so many problems of their own which you'll probably never know. It's crazy to me that everyone has their own little worlds that it's unlikely I'll have the slightest clue about. Back to my point, I was given really this really unrealistic view of the world from Disney films which on the one hand is great because when I was little it encouraged me to dream about the future but on the other hand it filled me with this false hope that being myself would get me through any situation however that is not the way the world works unfortunately. I don't want this to have been a completely negative post however and so I'll end on something a little more positive. 

Why can't we learn something from Disney? Okay so we all know that girls you probably won't have a fairytale price who'll swoop in and save the day and guys we all know you won't ever be that person most likely. But who says we can't do as Disney taught us and just be ourselves? I think high school would be a lot nicer place if everyone just shut the fuck up and stopped judging each other! Now, if you know me, you'll know I'm not a saint, in fact I'm probably hugely judgemental most of the time simply because it is human nature to judge others. But I think that whether you're fat, skinny, tall, short, popular or not you should have a chance and if you screw up that chance I think you should be forgiven and given a second chance. However if you have a chance to be nice and you fuck it up and then you fuck up your second chance too, I'm probably going to hate you. I am aware I keep veering off topic, sorry. 

The lesson to take away from this blog post is that you obviously shouldn't believe everything you see in films but take the lesson that says always be yourself and don't judge others because you wouldn't want to be judged, right?

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr Seuss

"To New Beginnings"

It really is getting silly now how many different times I've restarted my blog but this time I am genuinely determined to stick with it; I suppose if I believed in New Years resolutions this would be mine. The new blog will basically be me ranting about various people and situations in my angst filled teenage existence which I'm sure to a lot of people wouldn't be that interesting to read and therefore they'll choose to click onto my page to find out what it is about and very promptly click off it again and this I'm completely okay with! I am however sure that this blog may reach out to some of the teenage population of the world as with any luck it will genuinely be a bit relatable because after all, I can't be the only one in shitty situations right?

So my first post is about what seems to be "acceptable" in relationships. Recently a friend of mine had a slight boyfriend dilemma. This guy had, in short, been getting extremely friendly with another girl. Now, by that I do not mean that they were secretly meeting up and kissing or something, I mean they had been extremely close friends and by the looks of tweets and messages etc., they were getting very close. Close enough that they had been telling each-other that they loved one another and although he said it didn't mean anything (after deleting all of the messages from and to this girl) I have been questioning, does that make it right?  And this thought then got me thinking what is and is not acceptable in relationships? Having only had one myself in year eight which I can safely promise you meant nothing and went nowhere, I am probably not the ideal person to be questioning this but my eager mind has simply not left this question alone. I suppose that in an ideal relationship honesty would be the key. If either person is unhappy I think being honest and not trying to hold on to something that just isn't working any more is extremely important. However, rose tinted goggles is a very appropriate saying when it comes to relationships. It basically means that you see things in a positive light all the time simply because a situation was positive at one time. Obviously I'm not saying that letting go immediately is always the right or best thing to do and whilst some things are harder to let go of than others and each relationship has its own complications this does not mean that sneaking around behind a partners back is ever the right thing to do because after all, both people will probably end up getting hurt. So back to my original point, is it acceptable to say I Love You to a member of the opposite gender when you're in a relationship? I would definitely say that it varies from situation to situation, you can be best friends and not have any feelings but the polar opposite to this is that one person could have secret feelings and the other person just may not realise. In many ways I actually am very glad that I'm single because the problems that seem to come with relationships sound horrendous and it seems like boyfriends or girlfriends can really make or break a person.

I think the lesson from this is being honest is always the best thing, telling the truth in the short term and having a few days or even a couple of weeks of hurt and upset is so much better than long term consequences and hurt.